Almost Valentine's Day

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Things it's probably not OK to write in a Valentine's Day card to a 1 year old (I just can't help it - whenever I write cards it's like I'm writing to the 30 year old version of the person):

Dear [insert name of one year old here],

Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie! I hope that no matter what comes your way, you'll always remember that there is infinite love out there in the universe. Well ... not, um ... infinite ... not like slutty love. Oh crap. Nevermind. You'll know what I mean when you are older. You're too young to know what this crappy holiday is all about anyway.

Love,
Uncle [me]

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