Fooling the Neighbors
Ever wonder what happens to the hundreds of artificial Christmas trees that are left unsold in stores everywhere? Yes ... that's right ... they go on sale! Of course! But who buys them? Let's take a look at my parents - a case study of sorts:
My parents had a wee case of post-holiday blues this year. After all the excitement was over and the house was empty once again, they realized one day upon returning to their humble abode that the pesky deer had once again eaten hundreds of dollars of shurbbery (and other non-descript landscaping) that had been planted only a few months before. That night, my mum and my dad discussed over their nightly dinner of cold cereal what to do. They decided to do what any American would do in their situation - head to the mall and shop their troubles away!
Arriving at the mall, they were shocked to find so many artificial trees for sale - and at what prices! It was at this moment that a light bulb went off in my dear mum's head. Dropping a couple of hundred bucks, they loaded up the back of the truck with 6 or 7 artificial (but 'very realistic looking') trees and headed for home. Under cover of darkness, they snuck the trees into the basement - eyeing the neighbors' houses suspiciously - as if they were being watched.
The following weekend, cold as it may have been, my handy parents ventured to the front lawn. My dad had a shovel, and my mum had ... could it be ... yes! ... 6 or 7 artificial Christmas tree bases. (Hold, please, while I die of embarrassment. Ok. Moving on.) After a day of hard work, they had submerged the bases at strategic positions on the front lawn - leaving just the little center hole sticking up a wee bit from the earth. Currently, that's all that has happened. Mum and Dad are waiting for the right moment - when under cover of darkness once again, they can sneak out and screw the artificial trees into the bases (so they don't 'end up on a neighbor's lawn during a storm').
"Let's see those friggs [meaning the deer] eat these trees!" my Mom says proudly as she looks at the fine specimens standing in the basement - ready for deployment.
Me? I just stand there and nod - happy my parent's didn't opt for the fiber-optic trees that turn pretty colors.
My parents had a wee case of post-holiday blues this year. After all the excitement was over and the house was empty once again, they realized one day upon returning to their humble abode that the pesky deer had once again eaten hundreds of dollars of shurbbery (and other non-descript landscaping) that had been planted only a few months before. That night, my mum and my dad discussed over their nightly dinner of cold cereal what to do. They decided to do what any American would do in their situation - head to the mall and shop their troubles away!
Arriving at the mall, they were shocked to find so many artificial trees for sale - and at what prices! It was at this moment that a light bulb went off in my dear mum's head. Dropping a couple of hundred bucks, they loaded up the back of the truck with 6 or 7 artificial (but 'very realistic looking') trees and headed for home. Under cover of darkness, they snuck the trees into the basement - eyeing the neighbors' houses suspiciously - as if they were being watched.
The following weekend, cold as it may have been, my handy parents ventured to the front lawn. My dad had a shovel, and my mum had ... could it be ... yes! ... 6 or 7 artificial Christmas tree bases. (Hold, please, while I die of embarrassment. Ok. Moving on.) After a day of hard work, they had submerged the bases at strategic positions on the front lawn - leaving just the little center hole sticking up a wee bit from the earth. Currently, that's all that has happened. Mum and Dad are waiting for the right moment - when under cover of darkness once again, they can sneak out and screw the artificial trees into the bases (so they don't 'end up on a neighbor's lawn during a storm').
"Let's see those friggs [meaning the deer] eat these trees!" my Mom says proudly as she looks at the fine specimens standing in the basement - ready for deployment.
Me? I just stand there and nod - happy my parent's didn't opt for the fiber-optic trees that turn pretty colors.
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