Screen Test
It's been a while since I auditioned for anything. Months. No, Years. Today, I realized why (as I had apparently forgotten). After sitting through make-up, I got to go stand in front of a wall and have my polaroid taken. As it developed, I realized there was a problem. There was a light just above my head (out of the frame) that made the top of my head appear to be giving off light. As I looked in horror at my fate slowly developing before me in all the brilliance of polaroid color, I was told, 'Honey, don't ever look at your polaroid. They're never good.' (Note to self: Your polaroid will never be good.) After waiting around for a bit, they were ready for me.
Taking a deep breath (I was nervous), I ventured into the other room where I was wired with a mic, given my mark, and introduced to the talent that would be appearing on camera with me. With the introductions complete, I stood on the little piece of spike tape and clearly spoke my name as the camera tilted up and down my body. At this point, I remember thinking how happy I was that they let me keep my boots on (even tho I was originally supposed to take them off) so that no one was able to see the hole in the toe and the duct tape wrapped around my ankle. Watching the camera, I swear it paused at my crotch for just a brief second before continuing on to my torso. Although I felt like I was in one of the infamous CK commercials, I remained composed - sure of myself ... cocky even. I was going to ace this thing. Inner monologue: "I can say my name. This I've had practice doing. This is easy." ... Unfortunately, the audition didn't end there.
Slightly, um, repositioned, I launched into the whole 9 inches ... I mean, 9 yards with the fellow 'talent' - careful to stay in my light - careful not to move too much - careful not to look into the camera. I was doing fine until I twisted my body slightly away from the other person. When I turned back, he was gone. Just had flat out walked out of the shot and was walking out of the room - leaving me to finish all by myself. I later learned that he really had to go to the bathroom - and thought that I could handle the rest by myself. But could I? That was the real question. Still nervous - and now alone on camera - I fear I rushed things just a bit. Normally I'd go a bit slower ... I'd enjoy it more. But in front of a camera? Sigh. I was out of practice. And nervous. But like the trooper that I am, I finished the job.
When that was over, the real awkwardness began ... I actually had to talk about what I had just done with an 'unseen' interviewer (a la Barbara Walters). I could tell that the producer was happy with my performance - but what of the 6 other people watching me on a monitor in the other room? What were they thinking? Were they impressed too? Sigh. I guess I'll know if they call me for the part. I'll just have to wait and see. I have the feeling, tho, that I can only expect one thing ... yes ... that's right, say it with me ... certain disaster.
Taking a deep breath (I was nervous), I ventured into the other room where I was wired with a mic, given my mark, and introduced to the talent that would be appearing on camera with me. With the introductions complete, I stood on the little piece of spike tape and clearly spoke my name as the camera tilted up and down my body. At this point, I remember thinking how happy I was that they let me keep my boots on (even tho I was originally supposed to take them off) so that no one was able to see the hole in the toe and the duct tape wrapped around my ankle. Watching the camera, I swear it paused at my crotch for just a brief second before continuing on to my torso. Although I felt like I was in one of the infamous CK commercials, I remained composed - sure of myself ... cocky even. I was going to ace this thing. Inner monologue: "I can say my name. This I've had practice doing. This is easy." ... Unfortunately, the audition didn't end there.
Slightly, um, repositioned, I launched into the whole 9 inches ... I mean, 9 yards with the fellow 'talent' - careful to stay in my light - careful not to move too much - careful not to look into the camera. I was doing fine until I twisted my body slightly away from the other person. When I turned back, he was gone. Just had flat out walked out of the shot and was walking out of the room - leaving me to finish all by myself. I later learned that he really had to go to the bathroom - and thought that I could handle the rest by myself. But could I? That was the real question. Still nervous - and now alone on camera - I fear I rushed things just a bit. Normally I'd go a bit slower ... I'd enjoy it more. But in front of a camera? Sigh. I was out of practice. And nervous. But like the trooper that I am, I finished the job.
When that was over, the real awkwardness began ... I actually had to talk about what I had just done with an 'unseen' interviewer (a la Barbara Walters). I could tell that the producer was happy with my performance - but what of the 6 other people watching me on a monitor in the other room? What were they thinking? Were they impressed too? Sigh. I guess I'll know if they call me for the part. I'll just have to wait and see. I have the feeling, tho, that I can only expect one thing ... yes ... that's right, say it with me ... certain disaster.
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