November 2003 Archives
Since last week, I've been picking through the trash on the sidewalk. (And no, I'm not talking about the 'sidewalk sale' outside of the Cock last night.) On my way to meet JCN for a rainy day walk through SoHo, I spotted my newest find:
It didn't look quite so good when I fished it out of the trash - wires had been cut, it was covered in years of gunk (that's a technical term, mind you), and I wasn't sure if the LEDs would even work. Honestly, I was brave to even touch the thing. However, after a brief visit to my favorite lighting store (and three bucks later), it was totally re-wired. Pull the chain and it illuminates. Flip the switch and it blinks. Sit it in your living room and watch the sexy red color wash over everything in its path.
It didn't look quite so good when I fished it out of the trash - wires had been cut, it was covered in years of gunk (that's a technical term, mind you), and I wasn't sure if the LEDs would even work. Honestly, I was brave to even touch the thing. However, after a brief visit to my favorite lighting store (and three bucks later), it was totally re-wired. Pull the chain and it illuminates. Flip the switch and it blinks. Sit it in your living room and watch the sexy red color wash over everything in its path.
Today was a good day. A damn good day. I am thankful for the following:
1) That today was such a damn good day
2) That I successfully moved my entire apartment around
3) That my dad helped me carry things from room to room
4) That my dad was in the other room when I managed to fumble my porn DVDs, handcuffs, condoms, and lube - sending them skidding across the floor
5) That I managed to hide all of the above before he came into the room to see what all the commotion was about
6) That my dad thought the sample of 'Boy Butter' he spotted under the couch was actually lip balm
7) That 'Boy Butter' actually tastes like butter (being that my paranoia forced me to slather some on my lips so he wouldn't suspect that it was anything other than lip balm)
1) That today was such a damn good day
2) That I successfully moved my entire apartment around
3) That my dad helped me carry things from room to room
4) That my dad was in the other room when I managed to fumble my porn DVDs, handcuffs, condoms, and lube - sending them skidding across the floor
5) That I managed to hide all of the above before he came into the room to see what all the commotion was about
6) That my dad thought the sample of 'Boy Butter' he spotted under the couch was actually lip balm
7) That 'Boy Butter' actually tastes like butter (being that my paranoia forced me to slather some on my lips so he wouldn't suspect that it was anything other than lip balm)
There really is nothing better in the entire world than a two-year-old shrieking in excitement to see you, grabbing your hand with his little fingers, and pulling you ... no, dragging you ... right into his world of wide-eyed excitement and adventure. OK, perhaps there is something better ... or if not better, at least as good: Holding a four week old infant in your arms and watching his little eyes stare up at you ... questioning ... looking ... searching through all the possibilities before him. This world can be a wondrous place.
A multiple choice question: When life gives you moldy bread, you should:
a) Throw it in the trash and forget about it
b) Scrape off the mold (before eating it)
c) Toast the bread to kill the mold (before eating it)
d) Eat it anyway and be happy (what's a little more penicillin when you are already taking antibiotics?)
Tonight, I was faced with this difficult question...
a) Throw it in the trash and forget about it
b) Scrape off the mold (before eating it)
c) Toast the bread to kill the mold (before eating it)
d) Eat it anyway and be happy (what's a little more penicillin when you are already taking antibiotics?)
Tonight, I was faced with this difficult question...
Things passed-over by others sometimes turn out to be the greatest of treasures. Hidden under some grime on the corner of 9th St and 3rd Ave, a piece of beauty huddled next to a burned-out streetlamp. Although none of us could figure out exactly what its original purpose was (bench? narrow table? awning?), we all knew that this 7 foot long stainless steal structure would make the perfect accent to our respective apartments. One of us wanted it because it was damn cool, another because it was the perfect fit for an empty space calling to be filled ... me? I wanted it as a coffee table for the new couch. In the midst of swapping the rooms around in my apartment, I'm coming to understand the value of objects that are unique, beautiful, serve their purpose well, put a smile on my face, and best of all, are free. The three of us stood on that street corner, hoisted the table/bench to our shoulders, and marched off down the street (into the setting sun) in unison ... not quite sure which direction we would be heading...
The appropriateness of my domain name never ceases to amaze me.
Symptoms
1) Sinking feeling in pit of stomach
2) Relentless Headache
3) Inability to Sleep
4) Lack of Monstrous Appetite
Prognosis
This can only mean one thing. I was dumped - hard. It hurts. Ouch.
Symptoms
1) Sinking feeling in pit of stomach
2) Relentless Headache
3) Inability to Sleep
4) Lack of Monstrous Appetite
Prognosis
This can only mean one thing. I was dumped - hard. It hurts. Ouch.
Given Massachusetts' ruling on same-sex marriages, I've decided to start my media-empire with a Gay Wedding Magazine. Redefining the modern bride, the magazine will be host to a variety of articles about planning, the logistics of same-sex marriage, honeymoon destinations, and ideas on where to look for cake-toppers.
The Plan
Phase One (4 months): Internet site. On-line issue. Generate Press. Begin to Sell Ad Space. Contributing Writers.
Phase Two (8 months): First Print Issue. Establish Quarterly Publication Schedule. Cement Distribution.
Phase Three (12 months): Secure National Distribution in Mainstream Bookstores / News-stands for Issue #3.
Perhaps I can get the City of Brotherly Love to take out an Ad. Their new tourism campaign features Betsy Ross sewing a rainbow flag and reads: Get your history straight and your nightlife gay.
The Plan
Phase One (4 months): Internet site. On-line issue. Generate Press. Begin to Sell Ad Space. Contributing Writers.
Phase Two (8 months): First Print Issue. Establish Quarterly Publication Schedule. Cement Distribution.
Phase Three (12 months): Secure National Distribution in Mainstream Bookstores / News-stands for Issue #3.
Perhaps I can get the City of Brotherly Love to take out an Ad. Their new tourism campaign features Betsy Ross sewing a rainbow flag and reads: Get your history straight and your nightlife gay.
Although I've never even been to Miami Beach, I somehow managed to get on Crobar's mailing list and have been receiving invites for parties too far away to attend. With plans to pry open the doors of their NYC Club on December 4th for an invite-only grand opening, they've somehow decided that now would be a good time to remove me from their mailing list. Great.
 | I don't know how I missed the release of the Harry Potter Trailer - but it's gotten me excited to see the movie already. I'm almost sad that I have to wait until the summer of 2004! Sitting in the movie theater last year (or was it two?) decked out in Gryffindor's colors - scarf and all - brought out the kid in me. In celebration, I've re-installed the 'Wizard's Only' knob-cozy on my closet door. |
Following N's suggestion to rent a French film, the four of us settled in with our respective mugs of Spanish hot chocolate to watch 8 Femmes - a murder-mystery-movie-musical (how's that for alliteration?).
Shortly after throwing myself at N (quite literally) on the couch while simultaneously managing to molest K's sexy PowerBook, JCN was kind enough to start the movie in order to distract attention from my clumsiness. Totally unprepared for what was to unfold in front of my eyes for the next 111 minutes, I was pleasantly surprised over and over (and over) up until the very last moments of the film. Although certain elements seemed a bit off to me, it proved to be quite an enjoyable experience ... and it made me realize how important it is to watch certain films with certain people. Last night, in fact, was one of those instances when I cannot imagine watching that film (and enjoying it so much) with any other group of friends.
Delving into the topic of stickering with N on the walk home, I realized that I really see no difference between people slapping up stickers to publicize their events/products/websites on streetposts/signs/mailboxs and corporations putting up advertising in bus stops. Isn't it all just a question of scale? However, while being an insomniac later in the night, I came up with the excellent idea of throwing underground parties, changing their location each week, and embedding the information in RFID tags located in stickers. Then, people could go around with their PDAs and 'read' the stickers to find the secret location of each week's party. To the average person, the tag looks like a regular sticker and is likely to be overlooked -- it just doesn't get any more exclusive! Then ... well, then I came to the realization that I was a big geek and went to sleep.
Shortly after throwing myself at N (quite literally) on the couch while simultaneously managing to molest K's sexy PowerBook, JCN was kind enough to start the movie in order to distract attention from my clumsiness. Totally unprepared for what was to unfold in front of my eyes for the next 111 minutes, I was pleasantly surprised over and over (and over) up until the very last moments of the film. Although certain elements seemed a bit off to me, it proved to be quite an enjoyable experience ... and it made me realize how important it is to watch certain films with certain people. Last night, in fact, was one of those instances when I cannot imagine watching that film (and enjoying it so much) with any other group of friends.
Delving into the topic of stickering with N on the walk home, I realized that I really see no difference between people slapping up stickers to publicize their events/products/websites on streetposts/signs/mailboxs and corporations putting up advertising in bus stops. Isn't it all just a question of scale? However, while being an insomniac later in the night, I came up with the excellent idea of throwing underground parties, changing their location each week, and embedding the information in RFID tags located in stickers. Then, people could go around with their PDAs and 'read' the stickers to find the secret location of each week's party. To the average person, the tag looks like a regular sticker and is likely to be overlooked -- it just doesn't get any more exclusive! Then ... well, then I came to the realization that I was a big geek and went to sleep.
The commissioner of the Department of Consumer Affairs mentioned on NY1's Inside City Hall that the agency is actively re-examining the dreaded NYC Cabaret Laws of 1926 (which first targeted jazz clubs in the 20's ... then gay clubs in the 60s and now ...), and will "hopefully be able to make announcements soon" regarding loosening the ban on dancing in your favorite bar - perhaps by the end of the year.
Eight bucks for cover?! On a Monday night?! (It must be the LES.) Sorry - I'm not that Horny. Although I love Erni Vales's design of 13 Little Devils, I'd rather go to Hell than pay someone for the privilege of drinking at their bar -- especially on a Monday night. And if I do get horny ... I'll go and grab myself some Cock -- it's free on Mondays, and JonJon is a mean DJ.
Possibly unlike anything you've ever seen before, Misnomer Dance Theater creates "a taut, intense movement language quite remote from the 'released' style so common downtown." (Zimmer - Village Voice). Do not walk ... RUN to get tickets for Intimacy in Transition at P.S.122.
Thanks to A Hundred Monkeys we can now remove the shroud of mystery surrounding IKEA's unböring product-naming-system:
Bathroom Goods are named after rivers and lakes.
Children's Items are named after 'mammals, birds, and adjectives.'
Chairs are named after men.
Fabric is named after women.
Bookcases are named after jobs.
Being that the holidays (and gift-giving time) are quickly approaching, it might be helpful to know that:
a) I really need a bookcase.
b) I am willing to sleep with as many chairs as necessary to get a bookcase.
Bathroom Goods are named after rivers and lakes.
Children's Items are named after 'mammals, birds, and adjectives.'
Chairs are named after men.
Fabric is named after women.
Bookcases are named after jobs.
Being that the holidays (and gift-giving time) are quickly approaching, it might be helpful to know that:
a) I really need a bookcase.
b) I am willing to sleep with as many chairs as necessary to get a bookcase.
Thanks to Jonno, I will no longer be distracted by the squirrels at my window. Although, I'm sure all of the gay squirrels will be watching over my shoulder as I check out Fleshbot each and every day. Oh...and there's also one for the straight folks.
Q: What will these whiz kids think of next?
A: Well, someone's apparently come up with a floating blog. I guess it's time to dust off the old bow-n-arrow set.
Q: What will these whiz kids think of next?
A: Well, someone's apparently come up with a floating blog. I guess it's time to dust off the old bow-n-arrow set.
Since Cafe Pick Me Up imploded - I've been searching for a surrogate caffeine provider to get me through the days until they manage to repair the main room. Always a fan of the Mud Truck, I'm excited by the recent opening of Mud - complete with cozy nooks, a great back-door garden, and ultra-friendly barristers. After a few more test runs (just to be sure) it may very well become my new home-away-from-home.
In my vigilant quest to hit every gaybar in the city, I took a trip with D. over to the East Village's newest offering - ClubHouse. With my torn jeans, I felt a bit out of place amidst the crowd of well-dressed and polished youth. "This is Avenue C, isn't it?" I asked D. under my breath as I admired the curved wave-of-a-wall behind the bar. The bar-staff was excellent, but the drinks were a little too expensive for my tastes. On the flip side, they do offer some tasty bar-nuts that looked pretty safe - so if you are like me, you can balance out the price of your drink with a few handfuls of the salty-snack. Run by the team that brought you Starlight and owned Wonder Bar (until they got evicted a couple of months ago), this bar is just too close to my apartment for me not to try it every now and then. Note to self: Next time, no torn jeans.
Am I really that interesting to watch? Or was he just back today to mock me. Although there were no tantrums today, he sat there - intently watching me - for well over a half hour.
Perhaps tomorrow he'll bring his friends. If the creep-factor persists, I may just have to drag my TV over to window to distract them.
Perhaps tomorrow he'll bring his friends. If the creep-factor persists, I may just have to drag my TV over to window to distract them.
Two things I now know: 1) Do not feed squirrels 2) Squirrels are damn smart. My neighbors apparently did not know these two facts. When they weren't throwing plates at each other or jumping from our third-story fire-escape to tackle people on the sidewalk - they were feeding the squirrels. Now that they have moved away, the squirrels are pissed ... and hungry.
As I looked out my window, I noticed a squirrel on my ledge sniffing around for food. A bit grossed out, I pounded my fist against the window pane to scare the squirrel away. Shocked, it bounded onto the fire-escape, sat there looking at me, gave me the evil eye, and leapt into the nearby tree. The next time I looked over at my window - there were two squirrels sitting there. Just sitting there. Very attentive. Looking straight in at me. I had the impression that they had been watching me for quite some time. Ready to knock on the glass again, I got out of my chair and approached the window. However, the squirrels beat me to it. They sprung up, pressed their front paws against the window pane, and began pounding from the outside with their little fists. Squirrel One had apparently taught my technique to his little friend. Their intelligence frightened me. I looked away in defeat and backed out of the room.
This episode made me think back to my first visit to Stuyvesant Town (aka: Scary Squirrel World) with N. As we wound our way through the walkways, we noticed more and more squirrels following us until they had surrounded us with their little army. Luckily, they spotted a better target further down the path - a small boy playing a bit too far away from his mother. The squirrels completely surrounded him - inching closer and closer, and N. and I were convinced they would just lift the small boy into the air and carry him off. Luckily, he was armed with a small bag of peanuts and was able to bribe his way back to his mother.
As I looked out my window, I noticed a squirrel on my ledge sniffing around for food. A bit grossed out, I pounded my fist against the window pane to scare the squirrel away. Shocked, it bounded onto the fire-escape, sat there looking at me, gave me the evil eye, and leapt into the nearby tree. The next time I looked over at my window - there were two squirrels sitting there. Just sitting there. Very attentive. Looking straight in at me. I had the impression that they had been watching me for quite some time. Ready to knock on the glass again, I got out of my chair and approached the window. However, the squirrels beat me to it. They sprung up, pressed their front paws against the window pane, and began pounding from the outside with their little fists. Squirrel One had apparently taught my technique to his little friend. Their intelligence frightened me. I looked away in defeat and backed out of the room.
This episode made me think back to my first visit to Stuyvesant Town (aka: Scary Squirrel World) with N. As we wound our way through the walkways, we noticed more and more squirrels following us until they had surrounded us with their little army. Luckily, they spotted a better target further down the path - a small boy playing a bit too far away from his mother. The squirrels completely surrounded him - inching closer and closer, and N. and I were convinced they would just lift the small boy into the air and carry him off. Luckily, he was armed with a small bag of peanuts and was able to bribe his way back to his mother.
A pox on the person that eventually decides to computerize the voting process. There's nothing more satisfying than ducking behind that little half-curtain, grinding the enormous lever to the right, flicking a few switches, and then pulling the slot-machine-like-lever back to the left in order to record the entire process.
...nothing more satisfying, that is, except for drinking the newest alcoholic treat to hit the island. Coined by N. just last night at our favorite 40 foot mahogany bar, the Alibi is a tasty little beverage made with vodka, Berentzen Apfelvarianten, and cranberry juice - all topped with a twist of apple peel. So, next time you're on the town and acting a bit naughty, do the smart thing and get yourself an Alibi.
...nothing more satisfying, that is, except for drinking the newest alcoholic treat to hit the island. Coined by N. just last night at our favorite 40 foot mahogany bar, the Alibi is a tasty little beverage made with vodka, Berentzen Apfelvarianten, and cranberry juice - all topped with a twist of apple peel. So, next time you're on the town and acting a bit naughty, do the smart thing and get yourself an Alibi.
It was pointed out to me today that Halloween, much like New Year's Eve, is a holiday best celebrated with lowered expectations. That said, it ended up being a pretty incredible evening. The fur pants ended up making only a brief appearance - replaced eventually by garb that magically transformed me into a union construction forman (complete with fellow construction worker) - 'cause really - the only thing hotter than ONE construction worker is TWO construction workers!
Heading out for cocktails with the Lawyer, the Creator, the Candlestick Maker, we made it no further than the threshold of my building before getting our first set of catcalls...by the time we arrived at the party, we were used to it.
After a few drinks and some good ol' fashion socializing, we decided to head down to Urge in order to soak up some of the electricity in the air. Unfortunately, the one-and-thankfully-only Nomi DeMilo was in charge of nominating contestants for the Sexiest Costume Contest. Somehow, she managed to stumble her way past my hot co-construction worker and instead drag a playboy bunny (female), a xena (a lesbian), and a trannie onto the stage for the contest. At this point, the majority of the mostly-gay-male-crowd seemed to be more interested in scoping out the people NOT on stage. Not into the debacle myself, I managed to spot two drink tickets sitting on the floor a few feet away. Anyone with even a little self-respect would have felt a bit silly dropping to his knees in a gay bar ... but these were free drinks - not to mention the fact that it was Halloween ... not to mention the fact that I am a starving artist. Minutes later, free drink in hand, sexy construction man next to me, electricity in the air, I thought ... well, actually I wasn't able to think anything because my hard hat was a bit too tight ... but had I been able to, I would have thought, "Yes, this is a good night indeed."
Heading out for cocktails with the Lawyer, the Creator, the Candlestick Maker, we made it no further than the threshold of my building before getting our first set of catcalls...by the time we arrived at the party, we were used to it.
After a few drinks and some good ol' fashion socializing, we decided to head down to Urge in order to soak up some of the electricity in the air. Unfortunately, the one-and-thankfully-only Nomi DeMilo was in charge of nominating contestants for the Sexiest Costume Contest. Somehow, she managed to stumble her way past my hot co-construction worker and instead drag a playboy bunny (female), a xena (a lesbian), and a trannie onto the stage for the contest. At this point, the majority of the mostly-gay-male-crowd seemed to be more interested in scoping out the people NOT on stage. Not into the debacle myself, I managed to spot two drink tickets sitting on the floor a few feet away. Anyone with even a little self-respect would have felt a bit silly dropping to his knees in a gay bar ... but these were free drinks - not to mention the fact that it was Halloween ... not to mention the fact that I am a starving artist. Minutes later, free drink in hand, sexy construction man next to me, electricity in the air, I thought ... well, actually I wasn't able to think anything because my hard hat was a bit too tight ... but had I been able to, I would have thought, "Yes, this is a good night indeed."
